War in Defense of Christmas: Day Six

I have to get off my ass.  Apathy reigns supreme, but I either have to retreat or charge from the trenches straight into the fight.  Glittery pine cones need a home other than liquor boxes that are perfect for storage.  I’ll spend money on wreath covers, but when it comes to shatterproof ornaments or glittery things like apples, pine cones and such, I’ll just grab some free boxes from the liquor store.  I have paid for those boxes over the years.  O’ have I paid.

Liquor boxes are your best friend

This one holds the white feather wreath

I’m going to follow CSM’s advice and concentrate on one tree at a time.  Today’s goal is the big tree that attacked me last week.  I have yet to finish putting lights on the damn thing. I’m gonna try to keep the light count around a thousand.

Though I am tempted, I will not place an atrocious wooden cross on any of my trees.  I am fond of gold, bejeweled crosses, but I blame that on the gay shiny-attraction gene, not on religion.

Onward.

1:15 pm- 2/3 of the way up and a branch is missing.  I have no clue where it is.  I had a steady lighting progress and now it comes to an abrupt end.   Where is that damn branch?  So far the light count is 900.   I am not sure if I’m going to use the “novelty” lights like the poinsettias, crystal stars, etc.  I must find the branch to continue.

4:20 pm- HA!  I successfully lit the big evil, cause crippling pain that requires medication, tree.  There’s always an excuse.  Chatted on the phone.  Now will pour a cocktail as I do not partake of 420.   Photo of the lit tree shortly. OH!  I also found the missing branch.  It was atop the branch beneath it. I’m an idiot.

5:21 PM- I’m fighting to detangle beaded garland that Mr. Dashiell thinks a play toy.  Xmas is for the kittens.   I can’t decide which to use.  Endless decisions.  Let me refreshen.  Hopefully a little nectar will help with the process or I’ll just say fuck it and beaded garland will miraculous appear on the tree.

It needs more lights. I got distracted with faux jewels.

5:40 PM- Still deciding on garland.

7:01 PM- Beaded garland in place.  I’m listening to the Petulant Xmas CD mix no.1 and hating it.  It doesn’t flow.  I like the Artie Shaw, Tori Amos, and the A Fine Frenzy version of Christmas Time is Here, but it lacks.  Perhaps my weakest Petulant Xmas CD, though 2007 was bad.

8:24 PM- I offer advice.  Don’t be a fickle sort like me or fall prey to APATHY during a WAR.   PLAN! PLAN! PLAN!  I was searching for ribbon and found a strand of poinsettia lights.  Since the tree above lacks lights, more is better.  HMPH!  Do not try to add more lights after hanging beaded garland.  Since I want these poinsettia lights on the tree, all the garland must be rehung.  I’m not sure about that garland anyway.   I found another box of the poinsettia lights, so I’ll double.  Doubles are always better.

In my search for all the gold ribbon I bought last year, I found a baby Maglite.   A boy afraid of power failure can never have enough flashlights. Bully!

9:58 PM- Garland removed. Sufficient lighting. Apathy still reigns supreme. I’m fairly certain I can babble to myself without regurgitation here. Let me see what my narcissism cares to do. Isn’t that how it works? Aren’t all sites narcissistic? I’m a simple lad. I always forget about that changin’ the world thang. Where’s a soft (Vaseline) lens and Josef?

Let me find more appropriate beaded garland for my tree.  Contemplate my existence without sinister mechanisms

and exclaim with a lovely remix:

Day Six Endeth.

Related posts:

1. Suck The Marrow